I enjoy wanking on cam despite all my sessions ending the same way, with a big mess.

I was in a booth with my dick rock hard sticking into the booth next to me. A couple on a tour looked into the booth, saw my cock and paused the tour to suck me off. It was hot as they passed me back and forth. Good times.

These are not original:

Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a flasher jumped out at them. Two of the ladies had a stroke, the third couldn't reach.

I got my sneakers from a drug dealer. I don't know what they are laced with, but I've been tripping all day...

Three elderly ladies were sitting on a park bench. Suddenly a guy jumped out of the bushes and flashed them. Two of the ladies had a stroke, the third couldn't reach....

I bought my sneakers off a drug dealer. I don't know what they are laced with, but I've been tripping all day.

Received: Stairwell at the Tropicana in Vegas. She swallowed, then went back to the Casino and kissed her boyfriend. Many times received and gave at the gloryhole. Really enjoyed the time I got road head on my way to the gloryhole.

Into the mouth of whoever was on the other side of the gloryhole.

This is a good one

I thought the 4 kinds of nipples are:
The one I am biting
The one I am licking
The one I am pinching
The one I am twisting

On a cam site that matches random people I flashed a really famous Hollywood actress. She seemed upset that I would spoil our nice chat by showing her my dick. I think she was acting and really loved it.


Who was she? Why Jessica Alba.

If u can't get her to agree, could you have her ease into it by C2C? Watching a remote guy might be a less uncomfortable first step.

Make sure you avoid beaches that house sand-fleas or mosquitoes. Damn mosquitoes bit my ass a number of times one night. I guess I should have been on bottom.

I was in Sydney once where legal brothels exist. I tried one and got an Australian girl who was fun, had a sexy accent, but had limits. It was a good time but I wouldn't repeat. At the end of the trip I tried another and got a Thai girl who fucked the crap out of me. She was incredibly hot, had few boundaries and demonstrated that voluntarily. If I had met her at the beginning of my trip then I would have emptied my bank account and fucked her every day as many times as I could.

I thought it went like this (not my work):

once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404.
--------------------------------------- added after 47 seconds

My choice of username should be obvious

How about a dick in a box?

The official name is the reverse but my family always call it backwards. So Regina Pizzeria on Thatcher is the real establishment.

Is the best beer the one your date has that gets her drunk enough to try anal?

If I had a transporter I'd be able to beam 1300 miles into Boston and get a Pizzeria Regina pepperoni whenever I wanted one. That would be awesome.

It's elementary.

The bigger alien approached the boyfriend

The first Martian saw it

I'd fuck your wife, again. You didn't wonder why her pussy tasted a little off when you were eating her out? That was from my cock. You didn't eat my cum though, unless you got your tongue deep in her ass. Is she usually that loud when she begs for "faster, deeper, pull my hair, choke me"?

I have received a number of gloryhole BJs and am hoping to get another one this weekend. Got to love Tampa.

I once had a girlfriend that would have me eat her pussy during commercials while watching our show. It really enhanced our tv watching. She'd never want to watch a movie on cable...

Got a new kitchen sink installed with a nice snaking faucet head that really reaches all corners. If you are going to do the upper part of the sink nearest you don't accidentally hit the big spray button. Two things will happen you'll get soaked and the smiles and laughter of your guests if harnessed could power a small city.

I don't remember the first movie. I do remember finding my uncle's stash of porn mags. I wondered why in those magazines is that guy sticking his willie in her mouth. Now I wonder why isn't he balls deep in her throat?

I have had MFF with 3 sets of different FFs. I highly recommend it. Nothing like sharing licking a pussy with a girl.

Fiona Apple - Criminal

What I don't like is when they add music and drown out the moans, cries, and dirty talk

I'd be onboard with letting him suck me off, assuming he was good at it.

Were those nipples the inspiration for Austin Powers' Fembots where gun barrels popped out of their boobs?

I really like how you think.

I find myself incredibly attracted to Bruce.

It was quite a rush.

You are truly blessed.

She charged nothing. I gave her a tip about a table game that we both were playing. She won some money and was very appreciative.

I was born naked.

I once got blown in a stairwell at the Tropicana in Vegas by a woman I met 30 minutes prior. She swallowed. We could hear people in the stairwell above us but no one came down to where we were.

Everyone is weird in their own way. Getting turned on by exhibitionism is not abnormal. It's why most of us are on this site.

You can find one I recently shot at: only registered users can see external links

Sasha Grey gets me every time

Don't you start with the classic cutting a hole in the bottom of a popcorn bag that your sharing and give her a cock surprise?

I once jerked off in the adult section of a video store. The female early 20s clerk watched me using one of those see around corner mirrors while helping other customers. She came back there just after I blew my load but hadn't zipped up. I offered to clean up but she declined ran her finger over my head and ate the little bit of cum still oozing out. I had done it figuring I was moving the next day so what the hell. I am haunted to this day by what might had happened with her if I didn't move.

For erections lasting more than four hours contact a doctor who has a needle as large as a harpoon with your name on it.

Do give me a blow job. Don't ever stop.

Ugh

I like it when someone watches me jerking it. I cam with folks all the time. I've had girlfriends who loved watching and playing along and others who wanted nothing to do with it.

Great pic

I once had a threesome with two sisters I met in a bar. Later I found a clip of them where they turned out to be hookers. Looks like my condom was my friend.

Dick and/or pussy picture scavenger hunt. You need to take a picture of your dick next to a vegetable that resembles it. You need to insert something blue in your pussy. You need to cum on a picture of Taylor Swift, etc.

Give out 5 or six tasks, first one to complete wins. Be careful not to get anyone arrested.