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Started by #688177 [Ignore] 11,Mar,23 03:26
New Comment Rating: 1 Similar topics: 1.===== Joke Of The Day ===== 2.Anybody got a good joke! 3.Tell Us A Joke 4.small hands 5.Joke Central Comments: | ||
Apple Pi
Looking back at it now, I see Why!
Bob bends down to fill his paint brush from the paint can.
Ted says, “Don’t bend over like that, I’m so horny not even the crack of Dawn is safe!”
She comes back in five minutes and asks Bob, “How was the pie?”
Bob says, “I’ve had worse!”
Ted says, “He just can’t remember when!’
Mate, “Don’t you mean non-fiction!”
Me, “No it’s a book about the history of lubricants”
Mate, “So whats stopping you putting a show on?”
Me, “I need a cast”
Computer guy, ”have you tried disabling cookies?”
Me, “well I once bit the legs off a gingerbread man!”
Mate, “bet you didn’t”
Me, “correct, I mist !”
Mate, “A blacksmith!”
Me, “As soon as I got him home, he made a bolt for the door!”
Mate, “That sound like heavy reading, how are you finding it?
Me, “At first, I hated it, but after a while I am really starting to like it”
Mate, “Cheer up, it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water”
Me, “thanks, I know you mean well”
Mate, “Why do they try pecking your dog?”
Me, “I can only thing it’s because he’s a pure bread!”
Me, “perhaps you should lower the price!”
There were 20 of them.
Me, “the one from Sesame Street”
Mate, “he doesn’t count”
Me, “he sure as hell does, seen him go to 10”
A low down bum
The old ones are the best!!!
Me, “Sounds like it’s more of a rap to me!”
Cunts way low of coarse
Mate, “I might be bald, but I kept my Comb”
Me, “I bet you just can’t part with it!”
Mate, “Which is?”
Me, “yes, have I told you before!”
"Oh no!" cried the trainee, "I'm ever so sorry, doctor, it was an accident."
"Oh, don't worry," the doctor replied, "these things happen."
"But we can't let him walk around with no balls for the rest of his life," the trainee said at which point the nurse chipped in.
"Well, there's a jar of picked onions in the cupboard, if you sew a couple of those on, he'll never know the difference."
"Good thinking," said the doctor and after the guy's appendix had been removed, the nurse opened the jar of pickled onions, selected the biggest two she could find, and the doctor sewed them on and the bloke was wheeled back to the ward.
A few days later as the bloke was recovering, the doctor was doing his rounds and went up to the bloke and said: "hello Mr. Smith, I'm pleased to tell you the appendix removal went well. Have you any questions?"
The bloke thought for a moment and then said: "well, doctor, there's one thing that's been worrying me. You know when you get a hard-on, every time you see a nice young lady in tight sexy clothes?"
"Yes," replied the doctor, nodding understandingly.
"Well," replied the bloke, "since the operation, I've been getting a hard-on every time I see a cheese sandwich."
"No," replied the bloke, "I've been ill."
"Oh, don't worry," the doctor replied, "it's not unusual."
Mate, “Ah but what if you took it away?”
Me, “you will have Gravy!”.
Mate, “what award do you think?”
Me, “ Errr, perhaps the no bell price!”
Cowboy, “I have many calves at my ranch, once older they will be ready for the market”
Me, “are you raising the steaks!”
Cowboy, “
Me, “was, well done!”
Me, “ perhaps there is a magic medicine to stop it”.
Wife, “I am going see the Doc, perhaps there is an anti-bragging cream”.
Me, “Can’t wait to rub it in!”.
Now they are tenants!
Mate, “Ah but what if you took it away?”
Me, “you will have Gravy!”.
Toys for twats 😆😆😆
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