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I'm bi, but I'll take the card and the teeshirt, thanks
By definition, a guy sucking another guy's dick is a homosexual act. (Homo means 'like' or 'same')
The whole "it only matters if you get emotionally attached" stuff is just a rationale invented by bisexual people who are ashamed of their bisexuality.
From an American Psychology Association Q&A
What is sexual orientation?
Sexual orientation refers to an enduring
pattern of emotional, romantic, and/or sexual
attractions to men, women, or both sexes.
Sexual orientation also refers to a person’s
sense of identity based on those attractions,
related behaviors, and membership in
a community of others who share those
attractions
-https://www.apa.org/topics/lgbt/orientation.pdf under headiing What is Sexual Orientation?
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I am mildly physically and emotionally attracted to other men, therefore I am bisexual. Even if I never acted on it, or only looked at solo women or lesbian or even no porn, and never fantasised about another man, whatever I would still be bisexual by definition because I am attracted to other men.
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If a man had sex with another man and that attraction was absent and they only did it because it felt good and sex is fun, then he would not be bisexual. This is because he is not sexually attracted to men physically, emotionally, or in some other way. This goes for both genders and both hetero and homosexual orientations. If it was a gay man having sex with a woman even though he is not attracted to her this not make him bi, he would still be gay.
Just to be clear I am personally openly and unashamedly bisexual and always have been, though I also live in a place where there isn't any stigma attached to it and if anyone would try to shame me for it I haven't met them in the 20 or so years I've been open about being sexually active with other men. I have no political or moral intent. I'm just showing you that technically you are wrong.
By the 'I just like dicks, but am not attracted to men so I am not bi/gay' theory, what percentage of the male anatomy do you have to be attracted to in order to qualify as bi/gay?
What if you are turned-on by penises AND testicles? How about if you find men's butts to be kinda sexy?
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My comment was posted BEFORE you added the "I am mildly physically attracted to other men..." part of your post. That's not the part I was speaking about when I talked about playing with semantics.
You are probably mildly bisexual like I am, because you are attracted to at least one male primary or secondary sex characteristic. I am mostly attracted to penises and rarely other parts, though I would and have pursued romantic relationships with men in the past. Generally secondary sex charistics like body shape, beards, boobs, shape of butts, stuff like that are considered more than genitals, but everyone is different. Usually the line between monosexuality (straight/gay) and bisexuality blurs the closer you get to it, I've said I'm both straight and bi in the past as it took me a while to figure it out. And you don't have to be sexually attracted to something to like it. I fooled around with a few straight friends in my youth, still do actually. When I discussed it with one recently he said it was because it's fun and feels good. However, he doesn't see it as anything different from playing video games with me, and I can tell there's no romantic interest or anything like that, it's hey lets get off together because I'm bored and or horny.
All that said, you can call yourself whatever you want. Even when I called my self straight or some other random labels like straight plus, or whatever others, I would often tell people I'm bi because it requires less explanation.
Sorry for the TL;DR, I'm just explaining how it works on a more technical psychological level. I find this sort of thing fascinating psychology and philosophy and shit. Actually from a young age learning about how sex works on a biological and psychological level has been arousing for me. Ever since I read about how the anatomy works in a university biology textbook when I was 9, horny, and would get off to anything even remotely related to genitals. Guess I have a knowledge fetish
But the point is, I'm not bi. Not the way I figure it.
Sucking titty-nipples serves no purpose for a full-grown man, so it is a waste of time...
However, I suspect that gay men don't find your titty-nipples to be that exciting...
Being gay is about ATTRACTION, not LOVE.
Unless, of course, you are one of those guys who falls in love with every dick he sucks...
I knew i was gay before i even sucked a dick or had any sexual contact with a man
There are plenty of gay men who do not like sucking dick and some haven't done that for years after trying. Sucking dick or any other sexual act is not what makes one gay.
I know a guy who doesn't like having sex but he lives with a guy and they are a gay couple and are known so;
Being gay is not just what you do but more how you feel
Good on you, though, that you are that self-aware...
Because than, by the official definition, you're bisexual.
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"a) see usage paragraph below : of, relating to, or characterized by sexual or romantic attraction to people of one's same sex and of the opposite sex also : of, relating to, or characterized by sexual or romantic attraction to people of one's own gender identity and of other gender identities
b) biology : possessing characters of both sexes and especially both male and female reproductive structures : hermaphroditic"
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"Sexual activity with, or sexual attraction to, members of both sexes."
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"Bisexuality is a broad and inclusive term that describes physical attraction, romantic attraction, or sexual behavior that is not limited to one sex. In the scientific language of sexual orientation, bisexuality encompasses both heterosexual (different sex) and homosexual (same-sex) attraction or behavior. In everyday language, depending on the speaker’s culture, background, and politics, that translates into a variety of popular definitions such as:
Attraction to men and women
Attraction to same and other genders
Attraction to all sexes or genders
Love beyond gender
Attraction regardless of sex or gender"
only registered users can see external links
So there is some variation in the definition of bisexual(ity). Are there definitions
that exclude you?
There are off course blurry borders in the scale from straight, to bisexual, to gay/lesbian, but I really don't understand the confusion about the meaning.
So if a guy says 'I'm gay, but I am attracted to women too' (which is not exactly what spermkiss said, but it's an example), than I say that according to the generally accepted definition (at least in The Netherlands), he's not gay, but bisexual. And if a guy says "I'm straight and I love women, but I also love sucking cock and a handsome man gives me a boner", than I say that he's not straight but bisexual.
So even if a guy never had sex with a woman and he has sucked and fucked hundreds of guys, but he still knows he's sexually attracted to women, he's bisexual according to the definition I know.
The definition of "bisexuality" is EXACTLY how you state it.
Unfortunately, a large number of 'bisexual by definition' folks seem to desperately need to muddle things up by creating a massive and shifting scale to define their own sexuality along the gay/straight continuum.
Apparently, "bisexual' is too GAY for some people and too STRAIGHT for others.
These are also the same people who are constantly crying: "Why do we have to label everything?"
Which is sort of why I started this whole thread to begin with. Like most of the stuff I post here, it was intended to be tongue-in-cheek and a poke at all of the "I'm totally straight but love to suck dick" that were showing up in the forum at the time.
Also, do not get me started on "heteroflexible"--an idiotic term which was being tossed around in these parts not so long ago. "Heteroflexible", it seems, means the exact same thing as "bisexual" but, because it is a different word and has "hetero" in it, it is much better!
Years ago, I befriended a colleague and years later I discovered that he was very homophobic. He once said that he didn't like porn with closeups of girls sucking dick, because it would make you gay.
He grew up in a tiny village in the rural part of our country, so his homophobic nature was probably bred from youth. I somewhat suspected he wasn't totally straight and had problems accepting it. Once in the last night shift, when discussions regularly turned raunchy and the two girls in the team would definitely have had reasons to condemn all the guys for sexually transgressive behavior, but fortunately they allowed and participated a lot, he asked all the guys if they would suck their own cock if they could. Several admitted they tried, but couldn't. I admitted I tried and could. I didn't go into detail, but my team was much intrigued. One guy called me 'pornstar' after that for years, but luckily they kept it in the team (at least the explanation for it).
I think he was also intrigued, because started that subject again publicly several times, where I was defensive to keep it under control, but he never talked about it with me personally. Our friendship continued for years after he quit his job for another, but we never talked about what I think were repressed sexual urges, actually from the both of us.
I think he had a lot of other repressed feelings, he never confided me with, because he committed suicide years later. The last I heard from him was a phone call, in which he talked about moving back to the area where he was born (about 180 miles from us) and find a job there. He was sort of saying goodbye, but I said we could visit him there and he would always be welcome to stay over.
He actually sounded upbeat, so I never imagined there was something wrong, but we found out weeks later he hang himself. No one informed us, because we never had any connection with his family. Afterwards I did blame myself for not seeing some signs. Maybe I could have helped him.
He was a very closed off person. It's why we connected, because I am too, but I could never imagine being as closed off as he turned out to be. I'm not just still sad, but also still shocked about it. In this day and age, there is no need to repress so much of your feelings.
That said, there are some males who are of an age that has made them realise that sex with females is too complicated and who prefer to get sexual activity with a male (if possible).
An interesting thread. I once picked up a guy on the cruise block downtown. Or more correctly he picked me up. I spotted him first time around and knew right away that he was a hustler. The second time around he got in my car without any encouragement from me. Right up front I made it clear that I wouldn't pay him and he said that was OK. I think he really wanted to get off the street. Perhaps the police had been on him.
Chatting with him back at my house I learned that he was 32 years old and had been hustling since he was 16, half of his life. He spotted some handicraft items that I made and went ape over them. So I gave him one and he said he was going to give it to his girlfriend.
Then he said "Now I'm going to thank you." With that he took out his upper plate and gave me a gum job the likes of which I never had before or since. I wonder if he told his girlfriend what he did to get her gift.
I have visited the main red light districts in The Hague and Amsterdam a few times
(as a tourist, not as a customer) and except for all the girls, I've seen no men and
only one transvestite. The girls attracted me a lot, but I was even more intrigued
with that one transvestite. I'm sure there must be male prostitutes in the Netherlands,
but I don't know how and where they offer their services.
I guess you use the same definitions for sexual orientation as I do, which is just following the official definitions:
- Heterosexual (straight): Sexually attracted to people of the opposite sex.
- Bisexual: Sexually attracted to people of both sexes.
- Homosexual (gay or lesbian): Sexually attracted to people of one's own sex.
Therefore, I don't think anyone checks either box just from their sexual activities.
The only question that checks any box is: "To what sex(es) are you sexually attracted?"
So if you say: "I'm GAY and I like pussy", I think you mean you are only or mostly sexually attracted to other man, but you also like pussy. Many might consider you bisexual from that statement, but I agree with you that being attracted to one or both sex organs is not the same as being attracted to the sex of the whole person.
So I consider myself to be straight, because I am attracted to women. When a woman is dressed in revealing clothes or she bends over in tight jeans/short skirt or I get an(un)intentional upskirt or downblouse view, that sends a signal to my heart to pump up the beat and send blood to one specific place. However, I can't remember any straight guy ever having that effect on me, no matter how handsome, regardless of what clothes he's wearing, either in underwear in dressing rooms or nude in the sauna. My maximum reaction to any handsome guy might be some admiration (of his hard work) or some envy (without any intention to do the same hard work).
However I checked the box for bisexual here, because I do like sexual acts that are
not considered 100% straight, I am very attracted to transvestites and transsexuals and I do fantasize about sucking cock (other than my own). That is considered bisexual by many people.
I've never been to The Hague but I've been to Amsterdam twice. Of course I had to see the legendary red light district. What struck me most was how clean and wholesome it was. The streets were clean and litter free and it looked like any other business district. Except the business was sex. Looking around at the people on the street, of course there were single gentlemen who were there to look over the wares on display and to perhaps avail themselves of the professional services being offered. But there were also couples there on dates. Couples of all ages from teenagers to senior citizens and everything in between. There were also families with small children. It looked like Disneyland with whores. I could just visualize one of those little girls turning to her mother and saying "Oh mommy, I want to be a whore when I grow up."
Like you I have heard that in the red light district there are now "window boys" in addition to "window girls", but I didn't see any. But I cannot imagine that male prostitution does not exist in the Netherlands. Hell, it exists all over the world. There is nothing to stop a gay man from selling his body and I'm sure many find it exciting. (More about this in the next paragraph.) There are also a lot of ostensibly straight men who will engage in sex with other men for money. (Gay for pay.) Often they will only assume inserter roles, the most frequent being the hustler allowing the gay man to suck him off. But for the right amount of money, nothing is off the table. Or in the case of the guy I took home, no money at all, just a handmade handicraft item. Another thing I'll note about that encounter is the he never took off his pants and wasn't even crazy about me feeling his cock thru his pants. He was just giving me oral service. He approached it in a very businesslike way like a short order cook preparing the perfect eggs over easy. He was very good at oral service and I could tell he had done it before.
Now about gay men prostituting themselves, I once had an encounter with a gentleman whose mother was a whore. He grew up in a whorehouse and he thought paying or getting paid for sex was totally normal and natural. It wasn't like he just blurted this out in the first five minutes, but it came out in bits and pieces over the course of our afternoon together. I didn't pay him anything nor did he expect me to (our encounter was for fun, not profit), but he was quite candid in saying that being paid added a layer of excitement. "I'm going to have sex anyway, why not get paid for it?"
There is now a TV program on called 'Ik word prostituee', which means 'I become a prostitute'. only registered users can see external links
I have nothing against prostitution and I want it completely legalized and normalized, but I've never wanted to pay for sex myself. That's primarily because of my personal inhibitions. I have paid for a few personal sex shows, that were all initiated by friends, when we went to the sex shops in Rotterdam.
I like your stories. How long ago have you been in The Netherlands and how long did you stay?
The first time in Amsterdam was just overnight about six or eight years ago. We were going to a safari vacation and the tour operator offered a break in the travel with an overnight in Amsterdam. Which is a good thing because it's roughly 25 hours from the west coast of North America to most places in Africa. The second time was four years ago for three days before boarding a ship for a cruise vacation.
As for the safety of prostitution, yes there is risk, especially for those who work the streets. But the window girls in the red light district are working in a pretty safe environment. The rooms are closely monitored and if any client gets abusive there will be bouncers on him in a heartbeat. He'll probably face criminal charges. That's the beauty of legalized prostitution. Where it is illegal the sex worker finds it hard to make a complaint for fear of being prosecuted herself.
I think "That was fun, but I'm glad to be home."
The Netherlands does have a tendency to not completely legalize, but condone. So, the prostitution itself is legal, but many of the girls are migrants from Eastern Europe and even some illegal immigrants. They get taken advantage off a lot. However that also happens in greenhouse jobs.
We also have legalized the using and selling of weed, but not the production of weed. So that leaves much criminal activity.
There are tests with legal production of weed, but it's all to slow and weak for my taste. The ideas about prostitution are not heading in the right direction. The government is talking about forbidding it, even from some of the left, because it's considered misogynistic. I disagree with that completely and I am convinced prohibiting prostitution will just make the life of many women much worse.
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