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It just a joke

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Started by se-kent-uk [Ignore] 11,Mar,23 03:26  other posts
Lets hear your jokes then;

New Comment       Rating: 1  

By Sir-Skittles [Ignore] 16,Jun,24 17:41 other posts 
Went to the quadriplegic strip club this weekend..

Place was crawling with pussy..
By dgraff [Ignore] 18,Jun,24 07:49 other posts 
was one of them named
Cunts way low
By Sir-Skittles [Ignore] 18,Jun,24 12:47 other posts 

By se-kent-uk [Ignore] 18,Jun,24 03:58 other posts 
Mate, ‘I have just seen 2 big black birds stuck together!’
Me, ‘I recon they must be VelCrows!’

By se-kent-uk [Ignore] 17,Jun,24 02:21 other posts 
Me, ‘I got dressed up as a suitcase & went to the airport yesterday!’
Mate, ‘you are a little mad sometimes’
Me, ‘Yes, I can go a bit too far, I just got carried away,’

By White_Mamba [Ignore] 14,Jun,24 23:21 other posts 
Why do the french prefer snails?

---- They dislike fast food.

By tb1 [Ignore] 14,Jun,24 04:20 other posts 

By routemaster [Ignore] 10,Jun,24 23:31 other posts 
I once had a pet mouse named Elvis but he sadly got killed. He was caught in a trap.

By tecsan [Ignore] 11,Jun,24 04:16 other posts 
I get it, but how many others do?
By biggg [Ignore] 11,Jun,24 17:45 other posts 

By se-kent-uk [Ignore] 11,Jun,24 03:39 other posts 
Me, “Did you know I have a chicken that can count her eggs?”
Mate, “Chickens cannot count”
Me, “This one can she’s a mathemachicken!”

By se-kent-uk [Ignore] 10,Jun,24 02:29 other posts 
Me, “I always wanted to be a Blacksmith”
Mate, “Would you be good at shoeing horse?”
Me, “Well I did tell a donkey to get lost once!”

By se-kent-uk [Ignore] 27,May,24 03:52 other posts 
Me, ‘I got in trouble with the council about a filling in a pot hole’
Mate, ‘I know they are bad, but you are not meant to do them yourself’
Me, ‘I did get in a lot of trouble, but it’s my own asphalt’

By se-kent-uk [Ignore] 27,May,24 03:51 other posts 
Me, ‘I was having a laugh pretending to be a flamingo, and the wife told me to stop!’
Mate, ‘we all need to laugh’
Me, ‘yes but I put my foot down!’

By se-kent-uk [Ignore] 12,May,24 04:43 other posts 
Me, ‘Wife and I went to a restaurant called Karma yesterday’
Mate, ‘Oh hat type of food do they serve?’
Me, ‘They don’t do starter’s or mains, Just desserts!’

By routemaster [Ignore] 08,May,24 19:25 other posts 
King Charles III and Queen Camilla came down to breakfast and, as usual, the butler had laid out Charles's post next to his plate.
"Darling," said Charles, "where's the letter opener?"
"He's got the day off," Camilla replied.

By se-kent-uk [Ignore] 06,May,24 03:59 other posts 
Me, ‘You ok mate, you look cream crackerd?’
Mate, ‘Just finished at the Gym, been doing lunges for the first time’
Me, ‘Well at least it’s a step forward!’

By routemaster [Ignore] 04,May,24 10:02 other posts 
I'm not a fan of Gladys Knight. She gives me the pip.

By se-kent-uk [Ignore] 12,Apr,24 03:00 other posts 
Me, ‘As a kid I loved playing with granddad & making sandcastles in the garden, until I was told to stop’
Wife, ‘that sounds nice dear, but why did you have to stop’
Me, ‘I was told to put grandad back in his urn & return him to the mantelpiece’
By kupreanoff [Ignore] 20,Apr,24 13:28 other posts 
now that's funny
By routemaster [Ignore] 04,May,24 03:07 other posts 

By tb1 [Ignore] 03,May,24 23:40 other posts 
Football Head Coach to Assistant Defensive Coordinator: “Say Bill, if we went camping this weekend and you woke up in the morning with a cum filled condom sticking out of your ass, would you tell anybody?”
Bill replies, “Hell no!”
HC, “Whatcha doing this weekend?”
--------------------------------------- added after 5 hours

Video Coach to Head Coach after leaving the washroom, “Coach, we gotta fire the new receiver. He was masturbating in the washroom.”
HC, “Bob he’s a young guy away from home, we have to cut him some slack!”
VC, “I get that, but be was using my cock!”

By se-kent-uk [Ignore] 23,Apr,24 09:34 other posts 
G-son, ‘Granddad, whats you secret to a happy marriage?’
Me, ‘Well we still make a point of going out twice a week’
G-son, ‘Where do you go?’
Me, ‘It’s not where It’s when, Grandma goes out Thursday & Friday, I go out Monday & Tuesday!’
By #610414 03,May,24 09:30

By routemaster [Ignore] 03,May,24 04:04 other posts 
I'm a great classical music lover except I don't understand Norwegian music.
Its all Grieg to me.

By routemaster [Ignore] 03,May,24 04:03 other posts 
Why do battery hens sleep well at night?
They go out like a light.

By se-kent-uk [Ignore] 21,Apr,24 01:58 other posts 
Me, ‘Did you know, I can 100% tell if someone is lying just by looking at them’
Mate, ‘That’s interesting’
Me, ‘I can also tell if they are standing or sitting!’

By se-kent-uk [Ignore] 20,Apr,24 03:14 other posts 
Mate, “Did I ever mention I worked for the Royal mint making coins for a while?”
Me, “No, how long were you there?”
Mate, “Oh not long, I quit”
Me, “Did you have trouble making heads or tails of it!”

By whatsupcocks [Ignore] 18,Apr,24 12:02 other posts 
THE CANDY BAR JOKE 😄😄😄 One day MR.Goodbar wanted a Bit-of-Honey so he took MS.Hershey behind the Power House on 5th Avenue were he began to fill her Mounds which were Almond Joy.She let out a Snicker as his Big Hunk slid up here Milky Way.The results were a Baby Ruth.

By se-kent-uk [Ignore] 18,Apr,24 02:52 other posts 
Me, ‘I once went to dinner with a girl whose family turned out to be cannibals’
Mate, ‘wow that’s freaky, how was the date?’
Me, I turned up late and she gave me the cold shoulder!’

By routemaster [Ignore] 16,Apr,24 19:50 other posts 
I had a meeting the other day with my bank manager. I asked him to check my balance. So he pushed me over.

By se-kent-uk [Ignore] 17,Apr,24 10:52 other posts 
By routemaster [Ignore] 17,Apr,24 14:03 other posts 

By routemaster [Ignore] 16,Apr,24 19:52 other posts 
Have you seen that new hetero porn film where all the sex takes place in a flying car?
Its called Titty Titty Gang Bang.

By routemaster [Ignore] 16,Apr,24 19:51 other posts 
"Son, you're old enough now for me to talk to you about the facts of life."
"OK, dad, what d'you wanna know?"

By se-kent-uk [Ignore] 16,Apr,24 03:04 other posts 
Me, ‘I have been making a model of Mount Everest’
Mate, ‘Is it to scale?’
Me, ‘No, only to look at!’

By se-kent-uk [Ignore] 15,Apr,24 02:55 other posts 
Boy, ‘Dad can you tell me what an eclipse is?’
Me, ‘No Son!’

By se-kent-uk [Ignore] 14,Apr,24 02:09 other posts 
Me, ‘Have you heard about that new film “constipation”?’
Mate, ‘I have not seen it in the cinema’
Me, ‘well that because it’s not out yet!’

By biggg [Ignore] 04,Apr,24 16:53 other posts 
A hippie and a nun are on a bus.
The hippie says to the nun: like wow, i´ve always wanted to fuck a nun.
But the nun says: i`m already married to jesus so I cannot.
As the hippie is getting off the bus, the bus driver nods and winks and says: the nun is always in the graveyard at 8 o clock and waiting for the holy spirit. So you might be in luck!
The hippie puts a white sheet over his head and goes to the graveyard, and approaches the nun from behind. “Woo hoo, I am the holy spirit and I want to fuck you”
The nun says: well, yes since you are the holy spirit but it´s that time of the month so you have to do me in the ass from behind.
OK says the hippie, pulls out his dick and bangs her up the ass
When he´s finished, he pulls off the white sheet and laughs: haha, i´m not the holy spirit, i´m the hippie
But the nun turns around and pulls off her head cover and laughs back: haha, i´m not the nun, i´m the bus driver
By #700043 10,Apr,24 17:46

By se-kent-uk [Ignore] 08,Apr,24 02:42 other posts 
Me, ‘What do you think of my singing?’
Wife, ‘I think you should sing tenor . .’
Me, ‘. . .wow really!’
Wife, ‘If you let me finish, tenor eleven miles away for me!!!’
By biggg [Ignore] 10,Apr,24 16:44 other posts 

By se-kent-uk [Ignore] 07,Apr,24 02:18 other posts 
Mate, ‘My favourite composer died recently’
Me, ‘So technically de-composing now!’

By se-kent-uk [Ignore] 05,Apr,24 04:18 other posts 
Mate, "I have had trouble sleeping"
Me, "I can't see why people have such a problem sleeping"
Mate, "what do you mean you can't see why?"
Me, "well I can do it with my eyes closed!".

By se-kent-uk [Ignore] 04,Apr,24 05:13 other posts 
If you are not a British or moreover a Londoner, you might not get this one.

Mate, ‘Do you know what a propaganda is?’
Me, ‘Well when you say it like that, it’s when a Brit looks at something rally closely!’

By biggg [Ignore] 03,Apr,24 11:29 other posts 
The world´s strongest glue has been invented. But they can´t get the lid off
By tb1 [Ignore] 03,Apr,24 11:32 other posts 

By routemaster [Ignore] 22,Mar,24 05:37 other posts 
A vicar was on his way home when he inadvertently strayed into the town's red light district. He walked on a few yards past an alleyway from where he heard a bloke ask: "how much for a blow job?" and a woman replied: "a hundred quid."

The vicar carried on walking and went past another alleyway where he heard another bloke ask: "how much for a blow job?" and another woman answer: "a hundred quid."

The vicar was quite perplexed by now as he had no idea what a blow job was and then he had a brainwave. "I know, I'll stop off at the abbey and ask the Reverend Mother, she'll know."

He got to the abbey and went in to see the Reverend Mother.

"Do you mind, Reverend Mother, if I ask you a question?"

"Of course not," said the Reverend Mother.

"What's a blow job?"

"A hundred quid," the Reverend Mother replied, "same as it is in town."

By hair_today [Ignore] 30,Mar,24 08:16 other posts 
By routemaster [Ignore] 30,Mar,24 08:32 other posts 

By #704634 30,Mar,24 04:28
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