We all need a laugh in these austere times and to forget for a while this mad world that we live in and the politicians who ruin it - and to brighten up the winter blues too, unless you're reading this in Australia.

Please add more if you want. Here's a few to start:-

Last month I joined a fisting club. It has really widened my circle of friends.

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My girlfriend likes it doggy-style. Its great because she fetches my paper and slippers afterwards.

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Two fat blokes went to the pub. One said to the other: "You're round."
"You can talk, you fat sod," his mate replied.

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My dentist has just been voted Dental Surgeon of the Year. But all he got was a little plaque.

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How do you get four gay men on a bar stool?
Turn it upside down.

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Dr. Watson was bent over a chair stark naked. Sherlock Holmes came up to him and shoved a lemon up his arse.
"Holmes, what are you doing?" screamed Watson.
"A lemon entry, my dear Watson," replied Sherlock.

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What do you call it when two lesbians in wheelchairs are in the sixty-nine position?
Meals on Wheels.

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What do you call a group of lesbians in a house full of dildos?
Squatters.

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From the depths of the crypt at St. Giles
Came a scream that resounded for miles
Said the vicar "Good gracious
Has Father Ignatius
Forgotten the bishop has piles?"

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There was a young fellow called Dirk
Who dozed off one day after work
He woke with a scream
When he had a wet dream
And polished it off with a jerk

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A lady from Texas named Jill
Used dynamite sticks for a thrill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil

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