Want a bigger penis?
Enlarge it At Home
Using Just Your Hands!

Laughably Small Penis?
Enlarge it At Home
Using Just Your Hands!

Male Multiple Orgasm
Discover your full Abilities!

Become an expert in
pussy licking!
She'll Beg You For More!

JOKES, ANECDOTES, PUNS, PERSONAL OR OTHER FUN STORIES

Discussion Forum on Show It Off

Page #1

Pages:  #1   #2  

Started by #562152 [Ignore] at 02,Jan,19 15:28
DO YOU HAVE A FUNNY STORY, PERSONAL OR OTHERWISE? ANY PUNS, ANECDOTES, OR JOKES? THEY CAN BE ABOUT SEX OR NOT. JUST MAKE THEM FUNNY. ILLUSTRATIONS ARE OK.

New Comment       Rating: 0  


Comments:
By spermkiss [Ignore] at 21,Jan,19 01:35 other posts 
Years ago I had an interesting experience with a male hustler. For those who might not know, a hustler is a young straight man who sells his body to gay men for cash. Since the hustler is ostensibly straight, generally he will only assume inserter roles, allowing the client to suck him off being far and away the most frequent. However, for the right amount of money, nothing is off the table.

I was going around the gay pick up block downtown and spotted the hustler. Since I was looking for another gay man I didn't give him much notice. The second time around he got into my car without hesitation. He wanted to get off the street, perhaps he had issues with the police. Since I knew he was hustling I made it quite clear at the outset that I wouldn't pay him anything. But we could go to my place and have a few beers. He was OK with that. On the way there I learned that he was 32 years old and had been hustling sine he was 16, half his life. I was in my late twenties at the time.

Back at my place he saw some handicraft items that I had made. He really liked them so I gave him one. He said he was going to give it to his girlfriend. Then he said "Now I'm going to thank you." With that he took out his upper plate and gave me an absolutely mind blowing gum job, the likes of which I haven't had before or since. And yes, he swallowed. I wonder if he told his girlfriend what he did to get the handicraft item he gave her.


By EddyW [Ignore] at 19,Jan,19 12:14 other posts 
IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED? HAHA


By EddyW [Ignore] at 19,Jan,19 12:07 other posts 


By EddyW [Ignore] at 18,Jan,19 20:52 other posts 
By dgraff [Ignore] at 18,Jan,19 21:26 other posts 
My time is coming it's supposed to snow here in Pennsylvania there calling fore 12 inches
By EddyW [Ignore] at 18,Jan,19 21:43 other posts 
I never understood why anyone would like to live in a freezer
By dgraff [Ignore] at 18,Jan,19 21:56 other posts 
It's great every thing is clean and fresh you can breathe better and it's fresh and cool


By #562152 at 15,Jan,19 22:55
I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT GETS MAD

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.....

You have the balls, even though the do appear rather useless and small, to criticize me. Yet for the 3 weeks that you've been here, YOU have been involved with gathering subs, why? For points and attention? In the 3 weeks you've been here, YOU have posted posted 5 or 6 blogs, why? For points and attention? In the 3 weeks that you've been here, your posts in the forum are 100% abrasive, yes, even the one you directed toward routemaster, why? For points and attention?

How about this, fu@k you and the horse you rode in on!
By Scorpio69 [Ignore] at 15,Jan,19 23:03 other posts 
😯 Who? Do tell...
By #562152 at 15,Jan,19 23:08
By Scorpio69 [Ignore] at 15,Jan,19 23:12 other posts 
DOH! 😖 🤐🤐🤐🤐


By Scorpio69 [Ignore] at 14,Jan,19 15:25 other posts 
Picture it!

My Son and I were standing in line at the bank the other day, right behind an incredibly large woman. Following in his Father's footsteps, he's become quite the people watcher, like myself. As we were standing there, my phone started beeping (my notification that I've just received a text message). Anyway, with the utmost quickness, determination and a look of horror on his face. 😮 He suddenly shoves me backwards and says... "LOOKOUT DAD! She's backing up!"
By #562152 at 14,Jan,19 16:26
HAHAHA,,,,
By Scorpio69 [Ignore] at 15,Jan,19 22:57 other posts 
👍😁


By leopoldij [Ignore] at 15,Jan,19 19:24 other posts 
**********************
What do prisoners use
to call each other?
**********************
By #562152 at 15,Jan,19 19:52
What?
By leopoldij [Ignore] at 15,Jan,19 19:57 other posts 
Cell phones, of course.
By #562152 at 15,Jan,19 20:50


By #562152 at 13,Jan,19 10:29
ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
--------------------------------------- added after 39 seconds

WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
--------------------------------------- added after 59 seconds

IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
--------------------------------------- added after 101 seconds

IF THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
By leopoldij [Ignore] at 15,Jan,19 03:27 other posts 
1. Atheism is an unbelievable concept

2. The opposite of hypothetical is hyperthetical.

3. A metonym is almost synonymous to synonym and a synonym almost metonymous to metonym. Ask dgraff, he's a native English speaker. Apparently.

4. Now, that's sexist. Women mutes can remain silent too.
By #562152 at 15,Jan,19 07:35
By leopoldij [Ignore] at 15,Jan,19 08:37 other posts 
I daresay this was a decent reply, coming from a Frenchman, eh?
By #562152 at 15,Jan,19 09:17
Voltaire n'aurait pas pu mieux faire,,,,,,
By leopoldij [Ignore] at 15,Jan,19 12:52 other posts 
On ne peut pas parler cette langue ici. Dgraff n'est pas d'accord.
--------------------------------------- added after 59 seconds

Piensas, quizas, que la bruja habla frances?
By #562152 at 15,Jan,19 12:56
Dgraff es un hijo de una gran puta. Ese boludo le gusta lo que pica el pollo. Que se valla a la mierda.
I'm sorry,,,Papa was great but he could cuss in seven languages and i guess i learned it all,,,
--------------------------------------- added after 68 seconds

la bruja???? si ni siquiera sabe hablar ingles or sexo,,,
By leopoldij [Ignore] at 15,Jan,19 15:22 other posts 
De acuerdo. La bruja esta muy sexísima.
By dgraff [Ignore] at 15,Jan,19 18:26 other posts 
Cheese onth crackers chacky haft you seen such a flashlight laying around though steel I need it to throw the cow over the fence some hay I heard das Leo and onth two sagging tits are das christly elt bip slickers
By #562152 at 15,Jan,19 18:41
What would you know
By leopoldij [Ignore] at 15,Jan,19 19:14 other posts 
Il est vraiment un connard de première classe.
By leopoldij [Ignore] at 15,Jan,19 19:15 other posts 
Y po russkii, durak!!
By #562152 at 15,Jan,19 19:18


By #562152 at 11,Jan,19 23:36
WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS WHY, FROM BELLA TO THE LAST FOOL ON SITE, EVERYONE THINKS THAT LIX AND/OR AUSSIE IS MY MENTOR/HERO/KEEPER/MINDER/ OR ANYTHING MORE THAN MY ON LINE FRIENDS. IS THIS THE WAY YOU PEOPLE LIVE YOUR LIVES ON LINE? ARE YOU PEOPLE SO SHALLOW, SO INTO THIS CRAP WE CALL SYC/SYD THAT YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ACTUALLY ACT THIS WAY??????zzzzzzz
By leopoldij [Ignore] at 15,Jan,19 08:41 other posts 
Not only she's not your mentor or hero, but you are different than her in many ways. Of course, this does not prevent you from being friends with her. The only reason that they believe that is because they are projecting *their* situation (subordination to a sexless witch) to you.

You do have something in common with lix, however, and so do I and I think that most people here (excepting the site policy and his army) do: love sex.
By dgraff [Ignore] at 15,Jan,19 18:30 other posts 
Hahaha fucktards


By leopoldij [Ignore] at 15,Jan,19 08:42 other posts 
The top 50 worst Christmas cracker jokes ever

1. Who hides in a bakery at Christmas? A mince spy

2. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker

3. What's a horse's favourite TV show? Neigh-bours

4. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

5. Why do birds fly south in the winter? It's too far to walk

6. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsillitis

7. What did Cinderella say when her photos didn't arrive? "One day my prints will come!"

8. Did Rudolph go to school? No, he was elf-taught

9. What lies at the bottom of the sea shivering? A nervous wreck

10. Who is Santa's favourite singer? Elfis Presley

11. What did Adam say the day before Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve.

12. How many letters are in the alphabet at Christmas? 25 - there's no-el

13. Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? Because they always drop their needles

14. What did the farmer get for Christmas? A cowculator

15. Why did nobody bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? They were two deer

16. What did one snowman say to the other snowman? "Can you smell carrots?"

17. Why can't a bike stand up by itself? It's two-tyred

18. What school subject are snakes best at? Hisssstory

19. What do you get if you lie under a cow? A pat on the head

20. How did Mary and Joseph figure out baby Jesus was exactly 7lb 9oz? They had a weigh in a manger

21. Which side of a turkey has the most feathers? The outside

22. What carol do they sing in the desert? O Camel Ye Faithful

23. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence

24. What do you sing at a snowman's birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow

25. What happened to Santa when he went speed dating? He pulled a cracker

26. Who's Rudolph's favourite singer? Beyon-sleigh

27. Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws

28. What athlete is warmest in winter? A long jumper

29. What's the most popular Christmas wine? "I don't like sprouts!"

30. What does a frog do if his car breaks down? He has it toad

31. Why does your nose get tired in winter? It runs all day

32. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite

33. What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut? A barber-queue

34. What kind of music do elves listen to? Wrap

35. What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson

36. Why was the turkey in a band? He was the only one with drumsticks

37. What do reindeer put on their Christmas trees? Hornaments

38. What happened to the man who stole an Advent calendar? He got 25 days

39. What does Santa do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack

40. What happened when Santa got stuck in a chimney? He felt Claus-trophobic

41. What has four wheels and flies? A bin lorry

42. How do snowmen get around? By riding an icicle

43. How did Scrooge win the football match? The ghost of Christmas passed

44. Why is it getting so hard to buy Advent calendars? Their days are numbered

45. Why was Cinderella no good at football? Because her coach was a pumpkin

46. How does Darth Vader like his Christmas turkey? On the dark side

47. What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps

48. When do vampires like horse racing? When it's neck and neck

49. How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he's visited? He keeps a logbook

50. What does a football team do when the pitch is flooded? Bring on the subs


By leopoldij [Ignore] at 02,Jan,19 17:30 other posts 
only registered users can see external links
By #562152 at 02,Jan,19 18:44
By leopoldij [Ignore] at 02,Jan,19 19:24 other posts 
you like the pussy, don't you?
By #562152 at 02,Jan,19 19:41
By Godzillas [Ignore] at 05,Jan,19 03:07 other posts 
By licksipsuckit [Ignore] at 05,Jan,19 17:29 other posts 
l hope he gets re-elected for another term, America deserves an orange president, shows you don't discriminate on the colour of a mans skin *lix*
By #562152 at 05,Jan,19 18:06
By Godzillas [Ignore] at 05,Jan,19 03:16 other posts 
By leopoldij [Ignore] at 05,Jan,19 12:02 other posts 
Every politician is a crook.
They should all go to jail.
In particular, for crimes against humanity.
By licksipsuckit [Ignore] at 05,Jan,19 18:22 other posts 
theyre like movie stars, Teflon coated and public funded .. nothing sticks and they can 'afford' the best barristers in the land.. *lix*
By leopoldij [Ignore] at 05,Jan,19 12:03 other posts 
This is a thread on fun though.
I apologize. I should just lighten up and be funny. Your t shirt posting *IS* funny indeed.
By #562152 at 05,Jan,19 18:48
My threads are for my friends enjoyment. Have fun
By dgraff [Ignore] at 11,Jan,19 18:57 other posts 
Thanks I am


By #562152 at 11,Jan,19 18:12


By #562152 at 10,Jan,19 09:23


By #562152 at 07,Jan,19 09:02
Vender
By leopoldij [Ignore] at 08,Jan,19 02:56 other posts 
You should ask dgraff.
He doesn't understand English well.
I think he's Mexican.
By dgraff [Ignore] at 09,Jan,19 05:49 other posts 
Baseball hot dogs Apple pie and Chevrolet
By #562152 at 09,Jan,19 09:06
Soccer, fish and chips, meat pie and Jaguars
By dgraff [Ignore] at 09,Jan,19 05:52 other posts 
You don't speak English well Leo because your a silly Frenchman
By #562152 at 09,Jan,19 09:05
The correct word is "you're",,,,
By dgraff [Ignore] at 09,Jan,19 21:00 other posts 
Blow me bitch
By leopoldij [Ignore] at 09,Jan,19 21:33 other posts 
She doesn't want to get an instant disease.
By #562152 at 10,Jan,19 09:21
You don't have a dick, pussy.
By leopoldij [Ignore] at 09,Jan,19 21:32 other posts 
The guy can't speak English. He's a troll, recruited by the bella to apply her morality principles: anything goes in here, EXCEPT sex.
By dgraff [Ignore] at 10,Jan,19 05:17 other posts 
Bella Bella Bella is that all you can say any more


New Comment   Go to top

Pages:  #1   #2  



Show It Off