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What is "too vulgar" for you?

Discussion Forum on Show It Off
Started by JustWill [Ignore] 06,Feb,16 15:46  other posts
In another thread, a member wrote that they get private messages and comments on their pics that are "too vulgar".
I understand this. We all have different sensibilities when it comes to the topic of sex, and what one member thinks is "just being flirtatious" another might find over the top and disturbing.
So, where do YOU draw the line?
What is "too vulgar" for you?
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Similar topics: 1.curious...   2.need to know ASAP   3.You called it what???   4.WHY.......???   5.ARE WOMEN TURNED OFF BY ALL THE "PERVS"?  

Comments:
By #500097 27,Feb,16 15:45
Nothing is....


By #22155 13,Feb,16 12:14
I may be alone on this, but my profile clearly lists that I'm straight. So if I get a gentleman sending me a message about how he wants to shove his dick (or anything) up my ass, pee on me, etc., then that gentleman will get instantly blacklisted.

I don't really care if the rest of you think this is irrational or reactionary...it's my choice who I feel comfortable interacting with and who I don't.

I only have a handful of people on my blacklist...like four or five, but I think they have all gotten there either because of this, or because when viewing their profile, I was pretty grossed out by what they are into. Their own kink or fetish is perfectly fine and well for them....but I don't want them to message me because if they do, I will of course click their profile and I want to do whatever I can to hedge my bets against seeing some of those things.

I'm also of course amicable to the more mundane comments like "great dick" or "sexy." That's just complimentary, in my opinion.

Also, if you are a man who asks me to skype / cam / compare with you, it is very unlikely that you will get a response. I won't blacklist you, but I have absolutely no interest in skyping with you, so I will just forget that you even mentioned it...
By JustWill [Ignore] 13,Feb,16 14:06 other posts 
Everyone has their own "comfort zone" when it comes to sex and sexuality. Members should be respectful of that.
If I might offer a suggestion, however:
Listing yourself as straight on your profile is NOT going to be as effective as you might wish here at SYD. This is because more than half of the members who label themselves straight on this site are also into penises. (Yes...there are many of us who find that to be confusing, too.) The bi-curious, the closet cocksuckers, the gay/bi guys who are terrified of their true nature;often check the "straight" box. They also assume that every straight guy is like them, so they ignore the profile orientation.
I'm not saying that this is the case with you. You have plainly stated where you stand, and members need to respect that.
Perhaps, if you used the ADDITIONAL INFO feature on your profile page to copy what you have posted here about what sort of comments you are comfortable with receiving, it will help you to avoid getting the dick up the ass messages.
By spermkiss [Ignore] 21,Feb,16 12:24 other posts 
Very well put on every point.

I'm inclined to think that "straight" is virtually the default orientation for a male member here on SYD gets unless he actively chooses something else. I cannot begin to count the number of members listed as straight who have photos of men, presumably including himself, actively engaged in man-on-man sex right there on their pages.

Are these men really not straight? Well, maybe. But maybe not. I'm as gay as they come, but I've had sex with women. Does that mean I'm really not gay? I've had people try to tell me that I'm really bisexual. Nonsense! I'm gay, Gay, GAY. Turning that around to straight men, some dabbling in gay sex does not mean a man has to turn in his Straight Membership Card.

And you're also correct about men of any orientation straight, bisexual or gay, extrapolating their own attitudes, beliefs and desires to every other man claiming that orientation. Utterly impossible. If there is one thing I've learned in 73 years of life is that no two people are exactly the same.
By mr_blue [Ignore] 21,Feb,16 15:20 other posts 
"I'm as gay as they come, but I've had sex with women. Does that mean I'm really not gay? I've had people try to tell me that I'm really bisexual. Nonsense! I'm gay, Gay, GAY."

Label yourself as gay and say you've had sex with women,most would say you are bisexual....
By spermkiss [Ignore] 21,Feb,16 16:48 other posts 
First of all, I doubt very seriously that most people would say I'm bisexual. And those who do are wrong.

Secondly, very few men are so totally and absolutely homosexual that any kind of heterosexual contact is out of the question under any circumstances. And conversely, very few men are so totally and absolutely heterosexual that any kind of homosexual contact is out of the question under any circumstances. For the vast majority of men, if he is placed in a sexual situation with another person of either sex he will become aroused and be able to perform.

Finally, re-read the last paragraph of my last note. You are guilty of extrapolating your own attitudes and opinions to the entire population.
By mr_blue [Ignore] 21,Feb,16 17:15 other posts 
I don't care what sexuality someone is I treat them all the same,all I am saying is,that for the most part,people that define themsleves by a label then show the opposite trait,here in this case,you explaining you are gay but have had sex with with women,will have that label questioned,same as I am straight,I still get guys wanting me to do things online with them here,if I suddenly get the urge to suck a cock I am bi...to my simple little mind if you have a preference for men but will have sex with a woman....makes you bi....but I'm wrong...who care's spermkiss, I am not confused about my sexuality,I am not bothered by what sex someone is interested in...but label yourself something and people will challenge that conception...


By bella! [Ignore] 21,Feb,16 13:51 other posts 
This guy ticks the obscene box .

Can you imagine him WADDLING along with his penis dragging behind him on the ice, all frostbitten and chafed? Now I understand why guys sit with their legs all spread apart, it's for bragging rights, but this guy is over the top!


[deleted image]
By JustWill [Ignore] 21,Feb,16 16:45 other posts 
Silly bella! He doesn't take it with him when he's out on the ice.


By #494374 20,Feb,16 13:13
I have no problem with whatever someone says to me as long as they show respect when I let them know I am not into what they are talking about. I only get annoyed when the person continues after I convey my opinion.


By #7976 19,Feb,16 18:28
I've had several guys want to send pix of their feces which I ignore. That's over the line for me.
By JustWill [Ignore] 20,Feb,16 13:07 other posts 
I feel ya, BushPilot. Poop is not at all sexy.


By #188992 06,Feb,16 16:54
Totally depends on context. I think it's an impossible question to answer, in some ways. Who you're conversing with, what sort of relationship you have with them, your previous interactions, what's been said in the lead up - they all play a part in deciding whether a line has been crossed.
By bella! [Ignore] 06,Feb,16 17:02 other posts 
BINGO! Thank you, that's exactly what I wanted to convey!
By JustWill [Ignore] 06,Feb,16 23:19 other posts  ⤴
I think you hit the nail on the head regarding context and relationship. In the real world, only a complete moron tells someone "I'd wreck your pussy", "I want to stick my tongue up your asshole" or "face-fuck me with that monster cock" as their opening gambit. The fact that this is a "sex site" doesn't change the basic principles of human interaction.
By bella! [Ignore] 06,Feb,16 23:24 other posts 
That was the message that I was thinking about, wreck your pussy......ram your pussy was kinda close.
By JustWill [Ignore] 06,Feb,16 23:31 other posts 
I have never understood why any self-avowed fan of pussy would want to wreck one. It seems to me that, if you really like them, you would want to avoid mangling them beyond recognition.
I've never heard a gay man say: "Damn! I want to rip your pecker off" as a statement of desire.
By spermkiss [Ignore] 09,Feb,16 20:48 other posts 
I agree with all three of you. It all depends on context. Some things that would be OK with someone one knows well might go over like a pregnant pole vaulter (am I being an MCP for saying that?) with someone one has just met.
By tb1 [Ignore] 12,Feb,16 23:34 other posts 
"Pregnant pole vaulter" I have never heard that before. In my defence you know what a sheltered naive life I have led. . The phrase may not be pc but I thought it was funny anyway
By spermkiss [Ignore] 13,Feb,16 16:11 other posts 
"...sheltered naïve life..." Yeah, sure, you're as pure as the driven snow, which there in Saskatchewan you get a lot of. But I know you ain't pure.
By tb1 [Ignore] 14,Feb,16 00:30 other posts 
awwwwwww shucks


By spermkiss [Ignore] 09,Feb,16 20:55 other posts 
****! (Though, of course, some people are into that. No accounting for taste.) And may I add a note to all you butt hole posters: If you're gonna post a photo of your asshole, MAKE SURE THAT IT IS SCRUPOUSLY CLEAN. I cannot begin to count the number of times I've seen a thumbnail of what looked like a nice asshole and when I clicked on it and saw the large photo there was obvious residue on that hole. Major turn off.
--------------------------------------- added after 62 seconds

Son-of-a-gun! The word that got censored was s-c-a-t.
By JustWill [Ignore] 10,Feb,16 12:58 other posts 
AMEN! Preach, Br*ther Spermkiss!
By bella! [Ignore] 10,Feb,16 16:08 other posts  ⤴
I find a nice, curvaceous, muscular butt so sexy. I do not find it a turn on to see a guy bent over, spreading his cheeks to expose his butthole. It's not necessarily "too vulgar" maybe just falls into a category of really "unappealing".

This question is being tossed out there for the men who are drawn to women; do you find it erotic, visually appealing, sexy, or whatever you want to call it, to view pictures of women with their lips all spread apart, looking like you're caught up in a traffic jam, inside the Detroit/Windsor Tunnel?
By #23212 11,Feb,16 00:30
That depends on the 'direction'. If I'm looking at the Detroit direction, then 'bleck'; but if looking at the Windsor direction, then yes, whooo--hooo! [OK, only ]


By JeffinKS [Ignore] 10,Feb,16 07:41 other posts 
heard this the other day.... "I'd love to tongue punch your salty walrus"......not something I see my self saying in seriousness
By bella! [Ignore] 10,Feb,16 08:12 other posts 
Uh, off course not! That's a no brainer and you're off the market, so to speak. You've made it quite clear that you're hopelessly in love with your best friend, your husband. Three cheers for love! ❤
By JeffinKS [Ignore] 10,Feb,16 11:33 other posts 
thanks!
By JustWill [Ignore] 10,Feb,16 12:57 other posts  ⤴
"Salty walrus"? Seriously? Were you talking to an Eskimo?
On a a side note: I am well acquainted with a certain penguin who might find that activity sort of appealing...
By JeffinKS [Ignore] 10,Feb,16 17:33 other posts 
no.. not an Eskimo... But the statement did make me laugh so hard my ribs hurt for a day....


By #460385 10,Feb,16 09:26
It's hilarious to us that people join a site like this and still bitch about others being too vulgar. It's to some point what's expected from a site like this. But for those who think some comments are too vulgar, simply ignore them. Or you can always join ChristianMingle.com
By jayman73 [Ignore] 10,Feb,16 11:20 other posts 
And if any of you do join ChristianMingle.com, I would recommend not putting this site down as a referral.
By JustWill [Ignore] 10,Feb,16 12:51 other posts  ⤴
Not looking for a fight here, countryboy (we seem to do that a lot. ), but in your own blog you write:
"For those of you who find it necessary to call my wife, a whore, a slut, a bitch, and etc..... You will be Blacklisted. As most of you punks have been banned already. She is not your property. Do not demand a fucking thing out of her. Ask politely and we will do our best. For our friends this does not apply to you."
I understand the point you make in that blog. It is a reasonable stance to take. However, it does show that you DO find some comments/behaviors to be "too vulgar", doesn't it?
By #460385 10,Feb,16 14:25
No, we signed up knowing these vulgar comments would come our way. But I would have rather let people you know up front where we stand by writing the blog. We choose to ignore those who go overboard. As I stated in the forum. And yes I can see where you could confuse the blog. Let me try to give it to you in my eyes. Vulgarity is different to us than disrespect. You want to comment to my wife that you want to fuck her ass so hard she shits out her mouth. That's cool, she can handle that. Now if you want to comment that she is a fat ass whore slut that will spread her legs for anyone. That is disrespectful. Maybe it doesn't make sense. But it does to us.
--------------------------------------- added after 7 minutes

I'm pretty sure in the dictionary the definition for disrespect and the definition for vulgarity is different. Maybe I read the post wrong, but I thought it said " what is too vulgar to you" not "what is disrespect too you".
By JustWill [Ignore] 10,Feb,16 15:33 other posts 
There's a fine line between the two. You got the modern definitions correct, but vulgar also means "low, common, impolite, rude". Disrespect can also be seen as "impolite, rude". Calling a woman a whore or a slut is both vulgar AND disrespectful.
In the example we are discussing, the disrespect comes from the use of vulgarity to degrade Mrs. Countryboy. Would you be as offended if the message said: "Wow! She looks like she can't get enough sex to satisfy her." or "She looks so good she could make money giving BJs" ? (These are just EXAMPLES, btw...I am NOT trying to insult the Mrs.)

Here's another example:

I find the use of the word "faggot" (a vulgar word) to be offensive and disrespectful. I rank that particular F-word right up there with the infamous N-word as a degrading and intolerable term. Use that word in reference to me in a message, and there will not be a reply.

The main point of the post, though, is that--even as members of a "sex site"--we all have different sensibilities. Some guys like to be called "faggot" or have someone call their wife a whore. Others don't. Just trying to see who draws the line where when it comes to SYD communications...
By #460385 10,Feb,16 17:16
I see your point. But I guess it's up to each of us to interpret the difference between the 2. With both examples you gave above even though vulgar, we would have no problem with. There was even a compliment on how good she looks. I guess it is all in the way it is said. Now if you said" that whore bag should be standing on the corner sucking dick for money" then that crosses over to disrespectful even though vulgar. Same as if someone were to say to you "so your gay, do you like anal sex". To me that would be vulgar. Now if the said " hey faggot, you like getting cock up your ass". To me that has crossed the line to disrespectful even though it's vulgar. And I did not mean any of that. Just trying to help with examples. So I guess it would be how each individual defines the comments.
--------------------------------------- added after 3 minutes

I do still think there is a difference. You can say vulgar comments in a sexual matter without crossing the line to being disrespectful.


By #96761 09,Feb,16 19:48
It really depends. If someone sends me a private msg that is just not my thing, I will let them know in a kind manner that I'm not into that.
By JustWill [Ignore] 10,Feb,16 13:00 other posts 
How often do they accept that without getting all bent out of shape about it?


By jayman73 [Ignore] 10,Feb,16 11:31 other posts 
I don't think it's too vulgar, as being too forward or receiving unsolicited comments. It's like, you get a message or comment left on your page that says I want to do this, that, or the other thing to you. It doesn't bother me that much. I mean I'm still here.

If you randomly send these messages or comments unsolicited, it's like your just talking to an anonymous penis or vagina.

You have to expect these vulgar messages on a site like this, but not everyone has to like them.

I remember when I first signed up for this site two years ago, Admin warning me that these messages could occur and asking the question, "make sure you're ready for this". So to be fair, Admin did give fair warning, at least when I joined.


By pifad [Ignore] 06,Feb,16 16:37 other posts 
Nothing too vulgar for me
By bella! [Ignore] 06,Feb,16 16:47 other posts 
Oh, pifad!


By bella! [Ignore] 06,Feb,16 16:29 other posts 
Gosh, I wish I could remember who it was and where I saw it however, it had something to do with them ramming or pounding their cocks somewhere or another.

I'm sorry, there's nothing about being rammed or pounded that sounds "flirtatious". Perhaps as the "relationship" develops, I will look forward to that good pounding but if that's the initial approach, nope!


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