Is possible to go from being versa to being a top?


When i started playing with men i got fucked once and liked it, it then took a while before i someone wanted to fuck me again and it didn't go, i was to tight


Since then even a guy trying to stick a finger in is painfull and i freeze up!
A guy tried again last weekend,he tried to move my attention to something else giving me some pain somewhere else,suck me off, even gave me something to relax but it didn't really work


Any tips on how to relax, or should i consider myself bottom from now on?