![](/avatars/489/489580.jpg) | 10 years ago, I met the woman of my dreams. I know she's still there, somewhere.
My wife Victoria and I met via Craigslist 10 years ago. The relationship started off on a sexual basis only. She wanted someone to have fun with and I was looking for various holes to put my dick in. It all changed when we actually met. We had very intense chemistry, a high sex drive and we were compatible on all other aspects as well, from movies to music and so on.
Just like every relationship, over time, things turn into routine. My sex drive remained high while she slowly became calmer.
A few years into our relationship (at this point already living together) I cheated on her. I cheated not once. We ended up getting married and I she found out about my escapades.
Needless to say, she was not happy!
Our relationship took a huge hit and all trust was gone. This is where our sex life changed completely and to be honest, can you blame her? We ended up getting some professional help and for almost a year, we both worked hard to make this work, somehow.
I haven't cheated since. I thought about it but never felt it was actually worth the risk. After all, she truly is the love of my life and why would I want to destroy something that we rebuilt and was on track to be a good, healthy relationship?
Over the years we became stronger. her trust in me was back and things we're/are great. The only thing lacking was her wanting sex. don't get me wrong, we still had plenty of sex and it was great sex but it was never initiated by her. It's safe to say that If I don't bring it up, we most likely wouldn't have it as often. Wen we're actually in the act, she does get into it and she does enjoy herself and she does orgasm very hard.
Now, with a new member joining our family and work/life related stress, I feel as if there is just no excitement left. We're very open and we talk about things all the time. There are things i'm eager to try, fantasies I have that I want to fulfill and she's just not into it. Recently, I brought this up. we began discussing an open marriage. She wants me to be able to be who I am and experience the things I want to experience. We decided to give it a try and of course, If I can go have fun, so can she.
I realized very quickly how jealous I am. The thought of another man touching her, I can't handle it. I admit it. I just can't do it. We talked about that. She was slightly disappointed as she was actually looking forward to this new, exciting 'thing'. She promised to not go on with it and I promised the same. We came to a realization that we somehow need to relight this fire that has faded. We want to make this work. we're attracted to one another and love each other very, very much. Something is just... Off.
I've been away from home these past 10 days and won't be back for another week. I miss her so much and constantly thinking about how to better myself for her. For us. I need to be more romantic and I need to find new ways to excite her.
I sent her some poetry the other day for the first time in, well, ever. it actually made her cry. We're emotional people. We need to get our shit together. I need my wife to want me as much as I want her. I want her to want sex. I want her to want to please me. I'm willing to do anything it takes to bring us to a level of happiness in the bedroom that currently doesn't exist.
I'd love to hear your thoughts, suggestions and any constructive criticism anyone might have.
Looking forward to hearing from you all and please feel free to ask any questions, no limits.
Cheers,
-A |
It would appear all their problems have been resolved as he / they are back to rutting several times a week so the Amazonian crisis appears to be over.
she's got two great tits
The professional counseling was a step in the right direction. Continue to rebuild the trust in your relationship. Quite frankly, I do not understand "open relationships", if you want an open relationship, why be married? I'm not so sure that I agree with the suggestions of gifts, surprise vacations and bouquets of flowers. Do you really want to buy her affection? There must be some pre-marriage days and dates that you shared that were fun and romantic that you could recreate. Draw from the time that you shared where life was not complicated and filled with hurt. Just my opinion, I believe that if you are able to make Victoria feel that she is number 1 in your life, she will reciprocate. It may be a win/win but you won't know unless you try.
maybe i made it sound like things are hopeless? she's learned to forgive me and we did move forward. this is why were still mrried and have a **** together. we love one another very much and have matured together. I've learned from my mistakes. now, together, we want to bring a sexual spark back into our lives
i never wanted an open marriage. there are fantasies and desires that exist in me that dont jive with her like bondage, for example. i wanted to find a way to fulfill those needs. tbat didnt work.
we're a pretty strong couple and we want to be even stronger. we are in love. people make mistakes!
i
Sometimes, relationships need to go through hardships and then, if they survive, they become stronger. Clearly, you must stay with her. But you also need sex. You should try to do more naughty things together. She should open up to your needs and you to hers. Sex is all in the brain. If, say, you feel horny but she doesn't, ask her to help you, perhaps by doing something kinky. Maybe ask her to watch you while you masturbate on porn. Vice versa , see what she needs too. Chances are that , with the arrival of your nanny, she'll want less sex. So you have to cope. You have to weigh the two options . Option 1, both have sex with others and you suffer the consequences of jealousy. Option 2, both remain faithful to one another but you have to make compromises when it comes to sex. I think option 1 is not good. Jealousy is strong and it will probably lead to a point where you won't want to be with her any longer because you won't be able to know that she has been fucking with another man. So, my opinion is that you stay together but that you look for alternative safe sex venues.
Good luck, congrats for the baby, be happy.
When individuals are happy, the world is happier and less violent.
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Oh ,BTW, she's so cute!
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Go give her a hug and make out with her.
I need to be more romantic for sure! Aside from bringing flowers.. what else is romantic these days?
Flowers is an option, but not the only one. These days women tend to be more practical. Maybe she has a hobby. Buy something for that. Or maybe she likes good food. Then learn a recipe and cook a romantic dinner for her. Give her a massage. Get some massage oil and surprise her. (Watch a video on YouTube first. ) A change could be the result of a number of small changes every few days. By making her feel good, you'll feel good too. It's reflexive. And then there are changes in sex. You need to think about that. Have sex with her in a different way. Listen to what she needs but also tell her what you need too. And see if watching a porn clip together might make both of you happy. Depends on the woman. And remember you're lucky to have her so don't do something that will give you momentary pleasure in exchange of long term pleasure and happiness.
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