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Frustrated

Discussion Forum on Show It Off
Started by #136427 [Ignore] 24,Jul,14 08:01
All of a sudden the wife is tired all the time. Too tired for sex, or anything. We have 2 kids and they are a handful but I dont get it. We used to have sex every night, really everynight we looked forward to it. It was great. Now its been 2 weeks. Ive done nothing different. Now if I mention it or make a move I get shot down by im to tired, or she rolls over. I dont get it. We always shower together as well and last night she wanted to take one alone. I understand we all need our own space but I dont understand the sudden change. I really am doing nothing different. My life is a prison of the work and kids schedule. i ask her whats up or if there is a problem and she says no... Any ideas???
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Comments:
By #23212 24,Jul,14 21:16
You are describing one of the many consequences of couples who never learned to regularly communicate their personal feelings to each other, as many of your other Forum posts show also.
I would strongly suggest the two of you find a competent, experienced therapist, and learn how to communicate well.
Good luck.
By #136427 26,Sep,14 16:07
I think we are beyond help. Her excersise class is more important than me. That should be a sign...
By #23212 27,Sep,14 02:55
You haven't even tried any counseling. THAT is also a sign!
By #136427 06,Nov,14 07:56
She will not go to a counselor. She told me i should move out.
--------------------------------------- added after 102 hours

I think someone in her class, is giving her the dick. Awesome
By slipper [Ignore] 12,Nov,14 00:15 other posts 
I did not see this follow-up when I posted. Chearly, something happened and she's unwilling to reconsider at this point (and, may never). Time for you to decide what you wish to do. YOU can see a counselor to help you decide what you can and want to do, but this will invariably change as time passes. Best of luck.


By slipper [Ignore] 12,Nov,14 00:13 other posts 
You don't need our opinions; you need direct professional help.


By #232212 24,Sep,14 06:53
She is fucking around on you
By #136427 06,Nov,14 07:57
I think she is. That is the rumor at her work. One of her coworkers called me and asked if i was ok, and if the rumor was true. She then told me that the rumor is she is cheating...


By cumonme1 [Ignore] 10,Oct,14 08:57 other posts 
Work on it, stop fighting an talk with each other.
Kids can be a handful at times help each other out, find a baby sitter and have a date night.
Marriage is not all about getting laid, if you are that horny run it by hand.


By #147052 24,Sep,14 11:01
Hmmmm....12 hour work day? Come home and grab a beer and plop your ass down on the couch waiting for dinner? Too busy for the two kids activities? Too tired because she has been the provider for two small kids in a small apartment?
Sounds like you have a problem in and out of the bedroom: you. Perhaps the small apartment and two kids hammering for her attention 24/7 would make her too fucking tired to even think about having sex. Parenting is and always will be an equal partnered situation. Think about it.
By #136427 24,Sep,14 16:47
The other thing is this. She takes an excersise class 3 days a week. Witch cost us money, ie me money. I been bringing the kids to work with me after they get out of school since school started. I understand that parenting is the great equalizer of marital stability. But what i do makes us money. What she does costs us money...
By #23212 27,Sep,14 02:53
You claim to makes LOTS of money. Then what are you doing keeping your family in a tiny apartment??
By #136427 10,Oct,14 08:04
Cheap rent, with a lease, when it is up we or i will be moving on...


By #472648 24,Sep,14 06:03
You repeatedly said you've done nothing different. That might actually be the problem, maybe you're stuck in a rut. Try different things, different approaches, surprise her. See if that helps (:
By #136427 24,Sep,14 16:29
I guess it is worth a try
By #472648 24,Sep,14 16:33
Well, it shouldn't be much of an effort plus it should be fun for you aswell as for her!
By #136427 26,Sep,14 16:04
I think we are done. We just had a huge fight about a lot of shit. Im an asshole, she resents me... im done...
By #23212 27,Sep,14 02:49
Yup, sounds like it.

I have tried, several times to give you suggestions, given that it was my profession for many years. Yet it seems all you've done is come to SYD to complain. I'm sorry I've been rather harsh today, but after several months of gently and kindly trying to help you, it seems all that's left.

I do sincerely wish both of you well, and that your c h i l d r e n get through this without harm.


By #136427 23,Sep,14 22:25
Well the pattern has continued. We now have sex almost once or maybe 2 times a month. She is ****. Been that way for at least an hour. 930 and she is done. But just before she ****, it was have sex with me, give the dick. I say ok. She goes into the bedroom, and falls asleep by time i get a glass of water...
By #472683 24,Sep,14 00:30
It should improve once the kids are a little older. In the meantime, is there anyone who could give her help with childcare?

You should hear how long it's been since I've had sex! I would kill for once or twice a month at this point! Not to minimize.
By #136427 24,Sep,14 16:29
I watch the kids most of the time, or i bring them to work with me...
By #472683 24,Sep,14 16:44
Oh. So much for that idea! lol

How awesome that they can go to work with you! What kind of work do you do?
By #136427 26,Sep,14 16:05
I do landscape work, land clearing. Brining them to work with me is not fun, but she will not take them to her class...


By bigone21 [Ignore] 24,Sep,14 18:11 other posts 
you don't even need to have two kids to have this type of dynamic going on i think! it happens in all kinds of relationships.

talking about it, waiting and patience.., and some more talking...


By #466487 28,Jul,14 15:07
You are a member of SYD...are you Bi, Gay, is your wife on a seX site,If she was ...is that OK...you are doing things with your life ...perhaps she is doing the same...
By #136427 28,Jul,14 17:22
Straight, married, wife is in on it all, we as far as I know dont have any secrets. We enjoy most all porn, and have had an awesome Sex filled relationship. I within the past few weeks got another job, and make a killing but now work all the time. live in a small apartment, We have two small kids. No time for us. we used to make time, now she is too tired all the time. I guess this is just what happens when you have kids.


By #136427 28,Jul,14 07:43
Working it out, just a lot going on in life I guess. I will start working less and see if it helps...


By #303133 24,Jul,14 10:45
How dare she?!
Two whole weeks? Egad, man, the suffering you must be going through!
Doesn't that evil, selfish hag know that it is her duty--as a wife and a woman--to meet your every sexual need on command?
Who the fuck is she to demand the right to shower alone? Next thing you know, she will start asking you to spend some time with the kids so that she can get a break. The nerve of some people!
Divorce her immediately, and find a woman who knows her damn place...
By #136427 26,Jul,14 08:07
Im not saying that I am demanding anything. Just stating how it was. It was like the eternal honeymoon. we always did everythin together, even shower! Then all of a sudden boom change. Sure I could take a load off her plate with the kids, but that doesnt pay the rent, or buy food. Her wages dont pay the bills, daycare alone cost about her paycheck, and I dont like working all the time, but it os nice to have a bed to **** in. communication is probably the problem, and sex was a nice way to end a 12 hour workday. But again its frustrating when you come.home from.working all day, happy to be home and get shit thrown in your face for working all day! id have rather she just hit me a few times than give me shit for supportin the family. Ill cut back on work and we will struggle financially but I guess at least ill be home...
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S l ee p is against the rules to type?


By botanic [Ignore] 24,Jul,14 10:14 other posts 
mine went through spells like that over the years , no explanation , just random . Sometimes this lasted a couple of weeks and once several months. I dont think she was having an affair , but then , who knows ?


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