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Best or Worse Chat Up Lines

Discussion Forum on Show It Off
Started by #294689 [Ignore] 13,Aug,13 10:07
I was just wondering what are your Best and worse for that matter chat up lines? Either for someone wanting to suck on your dick or just in general? There must be some corkers that have been used out there. For me "Suck Cock" tends to work .
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Comments:
By #186885 22,Aug,13 09:59
"Well fuck me if Im wrong but you want to go to bed with me dont you"


By xdjxx1 [Ignore] 18,Aug,13 10:36 other posts 
Is there such a thing as a good or a bad 'chat-up line?'

Can't say that anything I've said to a girl has ever made her instantaneously want to jump me there and then, not that I'd always have been averse...

Conversation always seems the best route. Even though I'm a bit of the heavy side, I've rarely been totally bereft of female 'company' and I've often credited my ability to talk to people with this.

Part of me loves the idea of having the guts to go up to somebody and drop them a simple one-liner knowing there was no follow-up, but can't see that it would ever work and it always seems so forced.

The worst one I've ever heard used was in a club when a girl walked up to me openly, squeezed my arse and said "I like a chubby guy. If you buy me a drink, I'll sort you out."
By #294689 20,Aug,13 04:12
Well Did you ? And did she ?
By xdjxx1 [Ignore] 21,Aug,13 14:59 other posts 
I'm far more discerning than bowing to that!

I bought her friend one later that night though for a dare and struck up a conversation. She was alright but she certainly wasn't getting anywhere near my cock, even if she wanted, which I doubt.



By #316255 18,Aug,13 19:08
"My wife hates sex and won't let me cum in her mouth" always works
By #23212 20,Aug,13 04:23
--"Oh? So now I see why you married her, of course!"


By #358797 13,Aug,13 19:43
Worst one I've ever gotten was "wow. great pussy. i bet it smells like tuna." Seriously?! I take quite good care of my snatch, and it most certainly does not smell like any kind of sea creature. It smells like a fucking pussy. But after I went and read the dude's comments on pictures, it seemed he had some kind of strange tuna fetish. Never a shortage of genuine weirdos around here. Lol.
By #409634 13,Aug,13 19:48
Lol, some guys are idiots.
By #358797 13,Aug,13 20:08
Damn straight. Lol.
By #312666 13,Aug,13 21:13
Most guys think with there dick not there brain .
By #358797 13,Aug,13 21:53
Agreed. Luckily I know a few who don't fit that bill.
By #419898 13,Aug,13 22:04
Honestly, I wouldn't care what your pussy smelled like, you are stunning! But it's nice to know you take care of it! Pride in ownership, baby
By #358797 13,Aug,13 22:28
Awh. So sweet! Thanks for the compliment!
By #164428 13,Aug,13 21:37⤴
OMG. Some men!

You know, I've heard this a lot (that women's pussies smell like fish). Some unfortunate woman had BV somewhere (common bacterial infection that does cause secretions to smell like fish), the dude squealed, and now we all pay for it! lol

An educational point, folks: if it DOES smell like fish, the woman needs to see her gyno for treatment. Yeast cream will not work. Otherwise, a healthy pussy has a wonderful musky smell.

By #358797 13,Aug,13 21:51
Thanks, Steffi. The whole pussy/fish thing pisses me off. I routinely sniff my vag and not once has it ever smelled even slightly fishy. Lol. Any unfortunate soul who's pussy actually smells like the chicken of the sea should heed your advice and get checked out. Such an unattractive smell for such a wonderful place. And I imagine there's a foul taste that accompanies such a horrid smell. Yuck.
By #201583 20,Aug,13 00:27⤴
Then tell the dude, "well your balls smell like a goat and your cum is as lumpy as cottage cheese. Not to mention your feet stink like road kill. What's the problem? It's Friday bitch, and we are going to pretend your Catholic."
By #316255 18,Aug,13 10:43⤴
Wow! Really? How rude. Sounds like a winner... or should that be wiener? And you're absolutely correct about there being no end to the number of weirdos on here
By #358797 18,Aug,13 18:47
Weiner sounds about right, though I'd much prefer to call the guy something far worse. Lol. He was old, too. Made it even more offensive.


By #124665 19,Aug,13 23:00
Works like a charm for me every time.. Look her deeply in the eyes and whisper "I wanna dissect you.. And then play with your b lood.."


By #423426 18,Aug,13 19:53
"If you woke up with grass stains on your knees and a used condom hanging out of your arse, would you tell anybody?"
"NO!"
"OK, fancy coming on a camping trip?"


By bigone21 [Ignore] 13,Aug,13 18:05 other posts 
I find "hey"is pretty poor...


By Sickboy [Ignore] 13,Aug,13 17:24 other posts 
Alllll time classic...."How you doin" ....


By Sickboy [Ignore] 13,Aug,13 17:18 other posts 
If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?!


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