The answer to this question is easy. Don't! No matter whether you call it screwing around, cheating, or an affair;if you don't have your wife's willing consent your marriage is over when she finds out. And 99.999% the spouse finds out. So, you have to decide which is more important to you, getting laid or keeping your marriage.

It's hard to advise not knowing the particulars. If you are trapped in this marriage due to financial duress or other serious matters, such as a health condition, and, therefore, cannot divorce at this time, and you live as roommates, barely tolerating each other....some good people do find themselves in this situation, and they succumb to an affair to assuage the loneliness. But even that comes back to bite you. I know.

Any affair will create distance in a marriage, even if your spouse never finds out. And what happens if you fall in love with your affair partner, as I did, very much in love, and even wish to marry, but you are trapped due to impossible situations. Now you have the pain of two failed relationships.

Just speaking from my own experience, I would advise you to do whatever you can to work on your marriage and make it healthy. If you've done that, and you still can't get along, either divorce or come up with an open arrangement if you can and cannot escape. Living a double life will eat at you if you have any conscience.

As much as I'll miss my partner, I've been pulling away, and I suggested we part now as opposed to later when it will only hurt more.

Now if you're just looking for sex, and you're SURE you won't end up with these entanglements....it's still better to just masturbate if you're not getting it at home. Affairs always end up hurting people: yourselves and any partners at home, no matter how much you want to avoid that.

Just my two cents.