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Submissives

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By Jakestheman [Ignore] 29,Nov,19 06:09   Pageviews: 36

Submissive or subbies if you will, are a never ending source of interest and 'study' for me and please note, I am planing on this being an on-going series of posts.

I've been blessed to have had a number of subbies in my life including my much beloved T-girlfriend Jamie Lee who was not only a subbie but I 'owned' her in the BDSM sense. She was fully collared and we have a contract between us, even though she no longer lives with us.

Now owning someone in this manner takes the whole submissive idea/concept to a completely different level. I will delve into that aspect in a later post, it is really much much more involved..

Now, before I go any further, the actual definitions of dominate and submissive are VERY complex. While the media and folks who are NOT actually in the lifestyle like to simplify things but in the real world, these 'roles' are fluid and defined by the people themselves in many many different ways.

In other words, from my perspective as a dominate, no two submissives are the same, each seeks something different from the relationship and while there are some commonalities, they ALL are unique..

That being said, one of the main commonalities is trust. Without that trust, you can NOT have a dominate/submissive relationship, period.

Communication is another common trait and one that I find VERY refreshing in the BDSM world. Open, direct, honest communication forms the basis of virtually ALL dominate/submissive relationships and in the case of say an collared or ownership type situation, that communication is actually put into the form of a written contract between the people involved...

Beyond that, the communication of what a submissive is looking for from the relationship is SO important as it is from the dominates perspective as well..

Each knowing exactly what to expect builds that trust, defines boundaries, charts the 'course' so to speak..

It's a shame more people in 'normal' relationships don't take a lesson from this eh?

I have found, over the years, that there are somethings submissives want almost universally. They ALL have a deep-seated need to please and serve. That kind of goes with the territory if you will. They love to be rewarded and praised and will do almost anything to avoid being punished HOWEVER, there are times when the DO want to be punished..

Your 'job' as a dominate is to 'dole' out the rewards and punishments in the proper way AND times... and for the proper behaviors that meet the needs of your submissive.

It's a two-way street... You are certainly a poor dominate if you do NOT take into account the needs of your submissive...

I personally have switched roles in order to see what it's like being in the submissive role so that I could better understand my OWN role as a dominate better and I would suggest any wanna be dominate do the very same thing. It gives you a MUCH better understanding of how your actions effect your submissive...

Yes, this type of role-playing is in fact a mental 'game' if you will. Certainly, there are a lot of physical aspects to it but in the end, it's our brains that control everything and that is where we process all things.

Tying someone to a St. Andrews Cross and whipping or flogging them is cruel torture...

Tying someone to a St. Andrews Cross and lovingly teasing them, slowly caressing their body, using various items to heighten the experience even further is MORE fun, erotic yes, if your submissive enjoys being flogged, you can incorporate that as well, but do so in conjunction with the mental aspect of turning them on, mentally.

Unless of course, they just enjoy being whipped... That's NOT my cup-o-tea but some folks.... well it takes all kinds and THAT speaks to how you go about PICKING partners which is a post for another day my friends.

Namaste!

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Comments:
By #533479 [Ignore] 29,Nov,19 08:38
Some males think of us subs as just cum dumps - like women we need to be treated gently and lovingly too. A large penis can be quite painful at first but after some nice foreplay it can feel so good being entered.
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By Jakestheman [Ignore] 29,Nov,19 08:49
Yep. As I said, each submissive needs to be treated in the manner in which they WANT to be treated. Some DO in fact want to be treated as 'cum-dumps' but in my experience, most want that true, loving tenderness you speak of... I am a VERY kindly dominate myself. I would never ever purposely hurt you...


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